From Matt: Let this be a lesson to me about failing to meet my blogging obligations in a timely manner. I was hunting high and low for a good topic to out-debate my buddy Ed, and had settled for limits on Wall Street pay and the necessity of strict financial regulation. But too late! Ed has punctually and bravely taken the position that Day Spas are Not for Men. I must offer a counterpoint! En garde!
I'd go to a good day spa in a New York minute. I once dated an esthetician, someone trained in the proper treatment of the skin. This is when I learned that everything I have been doing in the shower all my life is wrong (I kind of thought so).
She forced me to abandon my Ivory soap, explaining that continued use of it would cause my epidermis to shrivel, crack and fall off in pieces. Ivory robs the skin of oils, which she said was bad. I said I thought I was trying to get oil off my skin. Wrong again!
Men generally have no thoughts about their skin unless it is either on fire or missing in places. Consequently we look like hell all the time, unless we get with the program.
Look, fellow 40-plus guys, it's 2009. We've been living in the future for years now, and here in the future, men take care of themselves. We are off the couch and running around the block, building the kind of endurance that our 20-something-year-old galpals expect of us. We are shaving our heads, using plenty of moisturizing body wash and begging the dentist for another shot of prescription teeth whitener. We are flossing, brushing, waxing and loofah-ing in a frantic effort to hold back the tide of age, and because looking at a man vaguely resembling our fathers in every mirror is starting to freak us out.
Look, once you've started going to the chiropractor, how much farther can it be to the day spa, a couple blocks? Why use the blanket the dog sleeps on when the wife's new snuggie smells a lot better? Here in the future, "manly" means "stuff men do to impress women." And trust me, those women are harder than ever to impress.
Pot belly? It's gotta go, dude. Flabby arms? Man up! Pasty, bumpy skin? I'm sure that little blondie across the office is going out of her mind with desire.
Hey, middle-aged guys, your winning personality and knowledge of football trivia alone isn't going to cut it with the ladies anymore, and let's face it, you're not able to throw money around like Mikey Bloomberg. You've gotta give the ladies something to look at. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a date this afternoon and I'm out of moisturizer...
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Personally, and this is my opinion of things - I find that grooming overall is important for both the male and female sexes. Some grooming is important in the attraction game and courting as well as seduction game.
ReplyDeleteI personally feel that everyone should make an effort to take care of their skin, speaking from experience I have very sensitive skin. Almost everything would cause my skin to breakout even overexposure to the sun. And having used to live in Australia before and out at sea on The Great Barrier Reef for 3 years, I would know the importance of taking care of your skin - Australia has the highest rate of skin cancer than any other country.
So all you people out there who don't take care of your skin try and consider this - the first impression you give someone is your skin. So if you do have horrible skin it does reflect on how you look after you and how people should treat you. Trust me, people treat you based on how you treat yourself - hence, neglect of your personal grooming does reflect as an inability to respect yourself.